DAILY LIVING & MOBILITY

10 Tips for Dating When You Have A Disability

Cerebral Palsy (CP)

Becky Foster

Just thinking about my ex-boyfriend makes me upset. When I was 17 or 18 years old, I thought I had found love but it turned out to be a lie. My ex-boyfriend and I had been dating for 11 months when our relationship turned nasty. I broke up with him while losing all trust in men. I decided not to date anyone...until now.

Lets go back to 2012 first. My ex-boyfriend said some nasty words to me one evening when we were on the phone after I returned from a concert in London. At first the conversation was great- we were laughing and joking.

He didn't like me socialising or drinking, and this particular weekend I had been. He wasn't happy. Whilst on the phone, he turned nasty and said some unpleasant words about my disability and parents. He said the only reason my parents kept me was because of the benefits they could receive (ie: The blue parking badge, etc). However, my parents did a lot for me when it came to my disability, so I hung up and barely spoke to him and his family since then.

I've recently become close to someone who has the same disability as me. We just click- maybe it's because we know how one another is thinking. I'm not saying that you shouldn't date someone who isn't disabled, but I'm going to give you tips so you hopefully you do not get hurt like I did.

Tip #1: Be Honest

Tell your partner what disability you have and how it affects you in different ways. Tell them if you have a nickname for your weak side (ie: I call my left hand lefty).

Tip #2: Make Sure Your Partner's Family/ Friends Know About Your Disability

Make sure their family and friends understand that you have a disability so they dont say anything stupid such as those horrible names you hear now and again to describe people with disabilities.

Tip #3: Be Yourself

Make sure your partner sees the real you and don't hide behind your disability.

Tip #4: Be Comfortable

Make sure you do activities that you can actually do. You can even suggest to plan the first date if you want.

Tip #5: Answer Those Awkward Questions

Answer those awkward questions. (ie: can you have sex?)

Tip #6: Don’t Rely On A Romantic Partner for Daily Care

Don't force them to do your daily care. If they love you, they will take care of you without being asked to.

Tip #7: Dating Websites

There are dating websites which help disabled people find partners. Feel free to check them out.

Tip #8: Just Ignore The Haters

There will be haters, doubters, non-belivers, and then there will be you and your partner proving them wrong.

Tip #9: Sex

Make sure you feel comfortable with that one person before you rush in to things.

Tip #10: The Only Disability In Life Is A Bad Attitude

If your partner isn't the one, dont worry! The right person will show up when you least expect it.

EMPOWER OTHERS!

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