You wouldn’t see me post this kind of photo 6 months ago. It’s nothing special, but it sure shows too much for my thinking back then. Truth be told, I didn’t like how I looked, I didn’t like my body. I was insecure about a lot of things: how skinny I was, my crooked body, my teeth, nose, then my BiPAP when I started wearing it all of the time, the fact that I look 10 years younger than I am. In conclusion, I didn't like anything about me.
Since I was young and until now, I didn’t wear shorts or dresses. In summer I wore long leggings and I didn’t like even that because they made me look even more skinny then I already was (or so I thought). I was very conscious of myself around other people. You can ask my mom or my sister, when they said I look beautiful, I rolled my eyes and said: “yeah, yeah, you’re just saying that because you’re my mom/sister”. They were always so angry with me 😁.
Now, everything is different. I learned to love my body more, to accept it, to not see every little detail about it that I don’t like. I gained weight and I like how I look now despite the fact that I’m still on the skinnier side. I accepted my crooks because they make me different than everyone else. My teeth (still my least favorite thing about me) - they work and they’re healthy and that’s what matters the most. My nose fixed itself since I started wearing this type of a mask and not a full nose one. I accepted the fact that I wear my mask all of the time. Why shouldn’t I accept something that makes my life easier? That doesn’t make sense to me now. I look 10 years younger and that’s great in a way. When I’ll be 40, I’ll look 30 years old. Every woman’s dream 😄. It still sounds funny when someone calls me beautiful, but at least I learned to accept the compliment. And yes, disabled bodies are beautiful. Different is beautiful. YOU are beautiful. 💖