Life is a struggle
My name is Sophia and I am a 19-year-old girl with Asperger's syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorder which it is more commonly called. Like many other autistic girls, I was diagnosed late, at 17 years old. By then I had already tried killing myself several times and saw myself as an alien living in a strange and hostile world.
I cannot say things have magically become perfect now, however, I do feel an enormous relief ever since I got my diagnosis.
Suddenly, it was easier and I didn't feel as it was my fault that I was "weird" and I started to appreciate the benefits that come from having ASD.
Life with ASD is difficult. I get tired from doing the most simple tasks, such as talking with a friend or taking a shower. I am extremely sensitive when it comes to the state of the world, and watching the news can make me cry. The biggest worry I have is around the climate crisis. It has created crippling anxiety in me, one that only rises as politicians continue to do little to nothing about the situation. It has been one of the motivators behind many of my suicide attempts in later years as well as a contributing factor to my self-harm issues, issues that I've had since I was 13. For a short time, I was involved in a civil disobedience group to trying to inspire societal change, but as our efforts kept being ignored I lost my motivation and a good bit of my hope. Now I don't know what to do and I spend my days trying to get through school and write music to express the dread I feel. I know this is a very important issue and I hope sharing my story will raise awareness and touch others with the same issues and same concerns.
With this current crisis, in the world and the Coronavirus scare, this is a very anxious time for us all and it is important to know that you are not alone.
